This past week has been such a mess. The cops came over Saturday because our daughter called to tell them her father was abusing her. He restrained her. They agreed and told her she had to do what we said till she was 18. It's not like we ask a lot. We expect her to get good grades, tell us where she is going, with whom, and when she will be home. We ask her to be respectful and honest. We ask her to participate in family outings. We ask her to do her chores and help with the house.
Well she hasn't been doing very well. She is failing 3 classes at school. Steals money from me, doesn't obey curfew, doesn't let us know where she is going, or with whom, and doesn't come home on time. She hasn't done a chore in weeks. And she is far from respectful. But because we enforce rules and refuse to give permissions we are the terrible parents.
Last night I found out that 150 had been stolen from my purse. The emergency funds. I also found out through texts that she had bought some marijuana. She denied it and ran away. We couldn't find her so the cops found her and brought her home. They left her with us. This morning we told her she couldn't go to school, until she went with us as we will have to talk with the counselors. One of her friends reported her, and to not get caught she ate the stuff. So there was no trace other than a drug test which she refuses to take for us. She did take the stuff and everyone knows it. So she refused and went to run away again. I caught her arm and refused to let her go. She started slapping and hitting me, and finally I got her to sit on the driveway where she began to scream and wake up all the neighbors. It was 6 AM. One even came over to see if they could help. I finally had one of her brothers call the cops. She calmed down a little and went in the house. When they came they talked with her. The asked it I wanted to press charges on the stolen money. I said no. Maybe I should have said yes, but I don't want to be the person who puts her in jail. I really want her to get her head on straight and clean up so that this all stops happening. She finally calmed down and went with her father and I to the school. We met with the assistant principal and told him what had happened. He suspended her for 2 days. I was surprised he didn't expel her. She is mad at us now because it is our fault that she got suspended because we told the vice principal. And it is our fault she will fail her classes, even though she has done no math for the past 3 days. Then we came home. She went straight to bed. I told her it would be a good time to catch up on all of her math homework, but what do I know.
She has a therapy appointment tonight. I hope it is good but since she doesn't use it, it seems a bit useless.
She is breaking my heart. She has so much potential. She is so brainy. Not common sense wise, but smarts. She is cute, or could be without purple and orange hair. She is fun to be around when she is up. I love her and want her to have a good life. A successful future, but that doesn't look like it is going to happen any time soon. And I a afraid she is going to ruin her life in the meantime. I also don't want her to be a perpetual inpatient at mental facilities, but it is looking more and more like that is what will happen, because I can't control her, she is as big as I am, and she won't listen to me. And she is defiant, and won't control herself. So what other options do we have. I just want to cry. I don't know how much of this is her illness and how much of this is just her rebellion, but we can't keep going this way much longer. She is going to have to work on somethings with us, or we won't have any choice.
Like the cops said. The are trying to help her, but you can only help for so long. Then consequences have to fall. And she is close. Maybe she needs to consequences, but they are so harsh and so lasting. I truly truly love her and wish I knew how to help her. All of the self help books aren't much help. I can apply the concepts and programs. And I know I am... And really trying, and although that tells me I am... It doesn't solve the problem and I still ache for her.
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