So Lauren called me about a month ago and let me know she was in jail. She had gotten picked up from Walmart for shoplifting and for having drug paraphernalia. She spent the night there as we wouldn't pay the 2500 bail. She had a court hearing the next day where she pled guilty and was let out to us. She was with us for about 10 minutes, met her boyfriend and left again. Not two days later she had used up all of her freeloading with people and asked if she could spend the night with us. I let her and her boyfriend as well.
After two days of being here she asked if they could not live here as they had no place to go. Ian and I discussed it and decided perhaps letting her have a good family experience, and him as well, would be the best thing for her, and we didn't really want her living on the streets. So we said yes if she was willing to work for her rent and he had to as well, and they had to obey our rules. The first week went okay, other than she and her boyfriend fought everyday. Not having drugs daily is hard on people when they are used to having them 2 to 3 times a day. And of course not being able to sleep together ( have sex) is too. I was quite shocked at my decision to let them both stay. Had anyone asked me even 3 months ago if I would the answer would be not way. Why would I let her boyfriend stay with us, so not what I believe in. But It seemed the right things to do. Perhaps they would be able to learn from being in a family and having support and responsibilities. My family was aghast when they found out, and I got quite a few lectures, but ultimately you have to follow the spirit. In all moral ways I hadn't lowered my standards, after all sleeping together wasn't allowed. I didn't fool myself that they weren't doing it away from my house, or maybe even sneaking, but I had set up the boundaries. For little bit it went okay. Like I said I found myself not knowing if the line between right and wrong, was grey, and was I blurring it, but it felt like the right thing to do. We fed them. clothed them even getting them so new stuff. I offered he jobs to do to earn her fine money and her probation money etc. We took her to her drug tests. We tried to support her as best we could. But again is was mostly one sided.
Anyway.... suffice it to say that over the next few weeks things have gotten more and more difficult. Lauren has gotten more and more demanding. She needs a phone (she didn't get it), She needs money (she didn't get it), She needs.... on an on. She and her boyfriends have continued to fight, to the point one day that she pretended to take a bunch of pills and I ended up having to call an ambulance to get her to the hospital. All I got there was a really expensive prescription of ADHD meds her brother takes put down the toilet, and a really expensive emergency room visit for an attempt at trying to get a guy to stay with her. She fights with the boys constantly and she takes offense at anything that is said. Anyway the past couple of days both she and her boyfriend have really been pushing the rules and limits. I got her clear lip piercings (I bought them) because we don't allow piercings in our home. She has removed them all because they are causing infection. They are glass and plastic which are non allergenic. Then she tells he I need to buy new ones she specifies if I want them out. She refuses to take them out. Then she and her boyfriend started pulling their cots together at night after we had gone to bed and essentially sleeping in the same bed. I told them they couldn't. When they continued, Ian told them one would sleep downstairs each night. Her boyfriend refused so she did. But still they were up till all hours of the night laying with each other on the couch. Ian finally got angry and told them separate places after 11. They haven't done anything towards the rent in about 2 weeks and are essentially free loading. This morning after another infraction, Ian was talking to Lauren when her boyfriend said he was leaving with her to go someplace because we attack him each night and *&%$*&.. Anyway. Ian yelled at him to watch his language. He was really at the end of his tolerance. The boy told him not to get so upset, and Ian said we had warned him repeatedly about this. Then he went to stand by the boy and the boy said he was invading his personal space and proceeded to tell us what terrible people we were. Ian told him to get out. He left with all of his belongings. Lauren left with him. Then I see that she has posted that she is at the police department filing a report. I message her and ask her what she is filing about and she tells me that she is reporting that either her dad or her brothers has been raping her every night while she is asleep. That she has been waking up with a sore vagina and covered in semen. I told her that wasn't true, and she replied that just because I don't want to believe it doesn't make it not true. I told her to do what she thought she must, we were more than willing to work with the cops and answer any of their questions.
I don't know how you would sleep through being raped every night and not know your attacker and continue to let it go on for long periods of time, but apparently she does. It breaks my heart. We didn't kick her out, but we did her boyfriend. So she is going too. This time it is to a point that I don't know if we will let her back in with us. She is lying to the cops and telling them things that if they believe could get one or all of my sons or husband put in jail for a long time. I know she is sick, I know she needs help, but I'm not sure we can help, and right now I am not sure if trying to maintain an association with her has ore value than damage. So know I find myself talking to police about something I never even imagined that I would.
I guess in the end, I pray for her, I love her, I hope the best for her, but for now I can't have her around. Maybe that will change tomorrow, but for now... I don't like her. I may love her, but I don't like her. I am tired of the hurt, the pain, the stress and mostly the abuse that comes with her. And not just for me personally but for my whole family.
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