So Lauren made it home yesterday...early. I welcomed her I thought with open arms all things considered. I got her some nice flowers, cleaned up a place for her and made food. She brought all her stuff in, and it was a lot. It all needed to be cleaned so we started right away on laundry. I had a previous engagement yesterday afternoon so I left for it. Ian was here most of the day with her. I got home and she had gone to see friends. Friends that are not healthy for her, and to reconnect with her boyfriend that dumped her at Christmas. I continued her laundry. Her dog pooped all over Ben's floor and my upstairs floor --- gooey poop. She would clean it up when she got home. I went to Seth's concert with him. Ian went to the court of honor with Chase. Got home and was tired, hadn't slept well the night before. I finally went to bed. Lauren came home and was tired and would clean the carpet in the morning.
This morning we got up as regular for scripture study. It is family time and yes we had Lauren get up. It was one of the things she agreed upon before she came back home. Then we all started our day. Lauren went back to bed as did Ben. I continued with Laundry.
When Lauren got up finally I told her we needed to talk about some things and get things planned and put together. I asked what her plans were and she said hanging out with friends. I told her she had therapy to work on and that we had to contact a psychologist to get an evaluation done. I also said she had to be home for dinner. That set her off. She immediately started yelling at me for pushing religion down her throat. I told her it had nothing to do with religion. We eat as a family. She continued about religion. I left it alone for a bit. Did what I needed to and then came downstairs. I asked to talk and she went to the garage. She was going to take things to her old boyfriend who she apparently has reconnected with. I asked her to help me shovel walks, she had to go. I finally told her I was not going to help her with bills, and a place to live if she couldn't help and work on therapy. She said she was willing to do therapy but all we want was religion. Then she started swearing up a storm a me. Said her friend had posted something on facebook about &&$(#)$^ me. Then she drove off. I thought bout it for a bit, and decided I don't have to take this. She is over 18. I was trying to help her get back on her feet. I have done nothing but clean up her mess since she got here and she went to "hang out". She wants all of the privileges of adulthood with none of the responsibilities. After being swore at and yelled at and used I decided that she can't be here. I would put her stuff on the front porch and she could handle whatever she needed.
She came back a few minutes later and when I wouldn't let her in... she got rude and pushy. I pretended to call the cops to get her to leave. She was using the foulest language. I told Ian I kicked her out.
Truth be told I feel bad for her. But I want nothing to do with her. I am tired of dealing with her problems, tired of taking her abuse, tired of being her rug. I am tired of her hating us until there is no one else and then have her repeat the whole process again. I told her father I wanted to cut off all connections with her.
I know I probably over -reacted, but not near as much as her. I know she hasn't been on meds for months and is way out of whack, but when do you stop being abused for a mentally ill child and stand up for yourself. I just can't keep doing it to myself or to my other children.
What a sad day for me. I'm crying as I write it. I would love to crawl in bed and forget the world.
Samantha
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