So..... Monday Chase had his interview with The policeman at the Child's Justice Center. The cop talked to me, and then he talked to Chase. After the interview he came back and said there was no evidence as to Ben abusing him as Lauren suggested, so that went no where. Chase was a bit worried as to what would happen. He was worried that he might get taken away, or even more that this would break up his family again. He was pretty upset. He said at one point that he was pretty upset at Lauren. She always says she will never hurt him, but he says that she has used him twice now to get even with someone on he personal vendetta. He said he was a pawn and that makes him angry. He told the officer that.
Ben and Seth were upset about being interviewed as well. Both asked if they would just be asked about what went on at home, or wether they would tell what they thought, or whether they would be interrogated as they have sen on TV. They were both pretty worried about the last. They said if someone grilled them and threatened them, and misconstrued what they said........ Anyway they were pretty worried. I told them I was pretty sure they would not be interrogated as there is not enough evidence to even open a case, but that the officer wants to talk to them just to get a feel for what is going on. He told me when I was with Chase that there are a lot of holes in Lauren's story and even more that she misrepresented the facts of what has occurred in the past.
Today Ian took the rest of Lauren's belongings to her. In return he insisted that she give him back the phone he had loaned to her. She told him she didn't have it with her, and that she needed it for jobs and communicating. He told her sorry, not his problem and she couldn't have her stuff till he got his. She went to get it. When she gave it to him, it was crushed. It looks like someone ran over it with a car. She said she dropped it accidentally last Saturday. Then why did she still want it? She did it when she went to get it just to be spiteful.
After he got back I got a call from the probation officer asking for Lauren. She hadn't shown up for a drug test. I told him she had moved out and I didn't know where she was or how he could get ahold of her. I did tell him where she usually hung out though. All I can assume is that she is in violation of her parole for not letting her parole officer know her whereabouts and for not showing up for a test, and so she will go to jail.
I feel really badly for her. She is heading for disaster, and this time I can't rescue her or even help her. She will have to do it on her own. Not what I wanted for her, not where I even imagined she would be. If she could only wake-up and see the path she is on, and that it can be fixed, that it can improve and that she still could have a decent life and be happy. I pray that she may find this someday. Soon!
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Friday, August 15, 2014
Heart Broken
So it is late. Long day, and sleep isn't coming. Got a call from the cops today. They want to interview Chase because Lauren made more accusations that Ben is abusing him. I know no such thing is happening. I have monitored their situation often and talked to Chase frequently. There is no truth to this. It is another attempt to hurt us and to especially hurt Ben. We have an appointment set up with them on Monday. It will be difficult because my sister's father in law died and the funeral is that day. I am not sure I can go now as I don't know if I can make it up there and make it back in time.
The other allegations are believe it or not being taken seriously. I can't believe they believe anything she says. Yet they want each of my sons and my husband to give them a DNA sample. Ben is worried. He thinks that some way she will be able get him in trouble again. I keep telling him she can't hurt him because truth is on his side, but then I didn't think the cops would take her allegations seriously either. Logically I know that my children are innocent of what she accuses them, and emotionally I know it too. I know that the evidence isn't in her favor, but I've been down this road before and it seems like a lot of times evidence doesn't count, because why would she lie? Only because she has to a million people and a million times. She somehow seems to convince police and judges that she is a victim. If only they got to know her for a long time.
Ian and I discussed it tonight. As much as it breaks my heart, Lauren will not be allowed to be in our home to live ever again. It is too dangerous for the rest of us. My heart really is breaking. I love Lauren. But I can't allow her to continue to hurt us all and she has really done so this time. I hope she finds a way to fix her life and get the help she needs, but it won't be from us. Never, ever did I think I would have to have nothing to do with my child. I hope God truly has a purpose for all of this because I sure am having a hard time finding it.
The other allegations are believe it or not being taken seriously. I can't believe they believe anything she says. Yet they want each of my sons and my husband to give them a DNA sample. Ben is worried. He thinks that some way she will be able get him in trouble again. I keep telling him she can't hurt him because truth is on his side, but then I didn't think the cops would take her allegations seriously either. Logically I know that my children are innocent of what she accuses them, and emotionally I know it too. I know that the evidence isn't in her favor, but I've been down this road before and it seems like a lot of times evidence doesn't count, because why would she lie? Only because she has to a million people and a million times. She somehow seems to convince police and judges that she is a victim. If only they got to know her for a long time.
Ian and I discussed it tonight. As much as it breaks my heart, Lauren will not be allowed to be in our home to live ever again. It is too dangerous for the rest of us. My heart really is breaking. I love Lauren. But I can't allow her to continue to hurt us all and she has really done so this time. I hope she finds a way to fix her life and get the help she needs, but it won't be from us. Never, ever did I think I would have to have nothing to do with my child. I hope God truly has a purpose for all of this because I sure am having a hard time finding it.
Doing what I never could have imagined I would do, twice
So Lauren called me about a month ago and let me know she was in jail. She had gotten picked up from Walmart for shoplifting and for having drug paraphernalia. She spent the night there as we wouldn't pay the 2500 bail. She had a court hearing the next day where she pled guilty and was let out to us. She was with us for about 10 minutes, met her boyfriend and left again. Not two days later she had used up all of her freeloading with people and asked if she could spend the night with us. I let her and her boyfriend as well.
After two days of being here she asked if they could not live here as they had no place to go. Ian and I discussed it and decided perhaps letting her have a good family experience, and him as well, would be the best thing for her, and we didn't really want her living on the streets. So we said yes if she was willing to work for her rent and he had to as well, and they had to obey our rules. The first week went okay, other than she and her boyfriend fought everyday. Not having drugs daily is hard on people when they are used to having them 2 to 3 times a day. And of course not being able to sleep together ( have sex) is too. I was quite shocked at my decision to let them both stay. Had anyone asked me even 3 months ago if I would the answer would be not way. Why would I let her boyfriend stay with us, so not what I believe in. But It seemed the right things to do. Perhaps they would be able to learn from being in a family and having support and responsibilities. My family was aghast when they found out, and I got quite a few lectures, but ultimately you have to follow the spirit. In all moral ways I hadn't lowered my standards, after all sleeping together wasn't allowed. I didn't fool myself that they weren't doing it away from my house, or maybe even sneaking, but I had set up the boundaries. For little bit it went okay. Like I said I found myself not knowing if the line between right and wrong, was grey, and was I blurring it, but it felt like the right thing to do. We fed them. clothed them even getting them so new stuff. I offered he jobs to do to earn her fine money and her probation money etc. We took her to her drug tests. We tried to support her as best we could. But again is was mostly one sided.
Anyway.... suffice it to say that over the next few weeks things have gotten more and more difficult. Lauren has gotten more and more demanding. She needs a phone (she didn't get it), She needs money (she didn't get it), She needs.... on an on. She and her boyfriends have continued to fight, to the point one day that she pretended to take a bunch of pills and I ended up having to call an ambulance to get her to the hospital. All I got there was a really expensive prescription of ADHD meds her brother takes put down the toilet, and a really expensive emergency room visit for an attempt at trying to get a guy to stay with her. She fights with the boys constantly and she takes offense at anything that is said. Anyway the past couple of days both she and her boyfriend have really been pushing the rules and limits. I got her clear lip piercings (I bought them) because we don't allow piercings in our home. She has removed them all because they are causing infection. They are glass and plastic which are non allergenic. Then she tells he I need to buy new ones she specifies if I want them out. She refuses to take them out. Then she and her boyfriend started pulling their cots together at night after we had gone to bed and essentially sleeping in the same bed. I told them they couldn't. When they continued, Ian told them one would sleep downstairs each night. Her boyfriend refused so she did. But still they were up till all hours of the night laying with each other on the couch. Ian finally got angry and told them separate places after 11. They haven't done anything towards the rent in about 2 weeks and are essentially free loading. This morning after another infraction, Ian was talking to Lauren when her boyfriend said he was leaving with her to go someplace because we attack him each night and *&%$*&.. Anyway. Ian yelled at him to watch his language. He was really at the end of his tolerance. The boy told him not to get so upset, and Ian said we had warned him repeatedly about this. Then he went to stand by the boy and the boy said he was invading his personal space and proceeded to tell us what terrible people we were. Ian told him to get out. He left with all of his belongings. Lauren left with him. Then I see that she has posted that she is at the police department filing a report. I message her and ask her what she is filing about and she tells me that she is reporting that either her dad or her brothers has been raping her every night while she is asleep. That she has been waking up with a sore vagina and covered in semen. I told her that wasn't true, and she replied that just because I don't want to believe it doesn't make it not true. I told her to do what she thought she must, we were more than willing to work with the cops and answer any of their questions.
I don't know how you would sleep through being raped every night and not know your attacker and continue to let it go on for long periods of time, but apparently she does. It breaks my heart. We didn't kick her out, but we did her boyfriend. So she is going too. This time it is to a point that I don't know if we will let her back in with us. She is lying to the cops and telling them things that if they believe could get one or all of my sons or husband put in jail for a long time. I know she is sick, I know she needs help, but I'm not sure we can help, and right now I am not sure if trying to maintain an association with her has ore value than damage. So know I find myself talking to police about something I never even imagined that I would.
I guess in the end, I pray for her, I love her, I hope the best for her, but for now I can't have her around. Maybe that will change tomorrow, but for now... I don't like her. I may love her, but I don't like her. I am tired of the hurt, the pain, the stress and mostly the abuse that comes with her. And not just for me personally but for my whole family.
After two days of being here she asked if they could not live here as they had no place to go. Ian and I discussed it and decided perhaps letting her have a good family experience, and him as well, would be the best thing for her, and we didn't really want her living on the streets. So we said yes if she was willing to work for her rent and he had to as well, and they had to obey our rules. The first week went okay, other than she and her boyfriend fought everyday. Not having drugs daily is hard on people when they are used to having them 2 to 3 times a day. And of course not being able to sleep together ( have sex) is too. I was quite shocked at my decision to let them both stay. Had anyone asked me even 3 months ago if I would the answer would be not way. Why would I let her boyfriend stay with us, so not what I believe in. But It seemed the right things to do. Perhaps they would be able to learn from being in a family and having support and responsibilities. My family was aghast when they found out, and I got quite a few lectures, but ultimately you have to follow the spirit. In all moral ways I hadn't lowered my standards, after all sleeping together wasn't allowed. I didn't fool myself that they weren't doing it away from my house, or maybe even sneaking, but I had set up the boundaries. For little bit it went okay. Like I said I found myself not knowing if the line between right and wrong, was grey, and was I blurring it, but it felt like the right thing to do. We fed them. clothed them even getting them so new stuff. I offered he jobs to do to earn her fine money and her probation money etc. We took her to her drug tests. We tried to support her as best we could. But again is was mostly one sided.
Anyway.... suffice it to say that over the next few weeks things have gotten more and more difficult. Lauren has gotten more and more demanding. She needs a phone (she didn't get it), She needs money (she didn't get it), She needs.... on an on. She and her boyfriends have continued to fight, to the point one day that she pretended to take a bunch of pills and I ended up having to call an ambulance to get her to the hospital. All I got there was a really expensive prescription of ADHD meds her brother takes put down the toilet, and a really expensive emergency room visit for an attempt at trying to get a guy to stay with her. She fights with the boys constantly and she takes offense at anything that is said. Anyway the past couple of days both she and her boyfriend have really been pushing the rules and limits. I got her clear lip piercings (I bought them) because we don't allow piercings in our home. She has removed them all because they are causing infection. They are glass and plastic which are non allergenic. Then she tells he I need to buy new ones she specifies if I want them out. She refuses to take them out. Then she and her boyfriend started pulling their cots together at night after we had gone to bed and essentially sleeping in the same bed. I told them they couldn't. When they continued, Ian told them one would sleep downstairs each night. Her boyfriend refused so she did. But still they were up till all hours of the night laying with each other on the couch. Ian finally got angry and told them separate places after 11. They haven't done anything towards the rent in about 2 weeks and are essentially free loading. This morning after another infraction, Ian was talking to Lauren when her boyfriend said he was leaving with her to go someplace because we attack him each night and *&%$*&.. Anyway. Ian yelled at him to watch his language. He was really at the end of his tolerance. The boy told him not to get so upset, and Ian said we had warned him repeatedly about this. Then he went to stand by the boy and the boy said he was invading his personal space and proceeded to tell us what terrible people we were. Ian told him to get out. He left with all of his belongings. Lauren left with him. Then I see that she has posted that she is at the police department filing a report. I message her and ask her what she is filing about and she tells me that she is reporting that either her dad or her brothers has been raping her every night while she is asleep. That she has been waking up with a sore vagina and covered in semen. I told her that wasn't true, and she replied that just because I don't want to believe it doesn't make it not true. I told her to do what she thought she must, we were more than willing to work with the cops and answer any of their questions.
I don't know how you would sleep through being raped every night and not know your attacker and continue to let it go on for long periods of time, but apparently she does. It breaks my heart. We didn't kick her out, but we did her boyfriend. So she is going too. This time it is to a point that I don't know if we will let her back in with us. She is lying to the cops and telling them things that if they believe could get one or all of my sons or husband put in jail for a long time. I know she is sick, I know she needs help, but I'm not sure we can help, and right now I am not sure if trying to maintain an association with her has ore value than damage. So know I find myself talking to police about something I never even imagined that I would.
I guess in the end, I pray for her, I love her, I hope the best for her, but for now I can't have her around. Maybe that will change tomorrow, but for now... I don't like her. I may love her, but I don't like her. I am tired of the hurt, the pain, the stress and mostly the abuse that comes with her. And not just for me personally but for my whole family.
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