Today's thoughts sent to Lauren

Lauren,

 We love you. I know you don't believe that, but we do. You have such talent, such drive. You are such an intelligent person. You have a lot of energy and are outgoing and draw people to you. You have every ability you need to be a successful person in this world. Out of all of our children, you have the most potential to accomplish great things. We have always loved your spunkiness, your independence. We recognize these things in you and I hope you do too.

 However, here comes the part where you will say you will never talk to us again and that we don't love you.We have watched you this past year. You have decided to be an adult, only you haven't. You haven't accepted any of the responsibilities that come with being an adult. You want all the freedom, without the responsibility, and it doesn't and can't work that way. You blew through thousands of dollars, you completely ruined a car that was in great shape. You left bills in the thousands in your wake, plus two arrest records as an adult.  You can blame everyone else, you can blame God, but sooner or later the only person you can blame is yourself, because nothing will change until you take responsibility. You have so much potential and yet you want to wallow in the self pity, telling yourself that your issues make life unbearable. We are sure your issues make life miserable, and are very hard, but you still can change that. All one has to do is read the many books out there to know that you can help yourself. You have quit all efforts to help yourself in that area.

 You do not look well. You look tired and drugged most of the time. Your hair is thinning. Your teeth are yellow and stained. You are beginning to look hard. You are a beautiful girl, but if you continue down the path you are on, you won't be for long.

We are tired of helping you and helping you and seeing you use that help to continue on a path that is not healthy. Everything we have done for you this past year has done nothing but enable you to be irresponsible. We can't feel good about it. It was all given with the best of intentions, but you abused it. We continue to give and you spit it in our faces.

 Therefore... we will not be paying for a wedding at this time.  We cannot do so with good conscience. Neither of you are responsible enough to be married.  Marriage is a life-long commitment that requires putting someone else's needs above your own. Neither of you are marrying for that reason. Your boyfriend has a job, but you don't. You have no place to live, no way of supporting the two of you, and no education. His salary won't cover rent, food, and utilities, and the two of you have yet to show that you can keep money for more than two days. You put your instant wants above what is good. If you want to talk about a wedding when you both have a job and can stick to the job, and have saved up enough to pay for a place, plus the extras, as well as gotten yourself off all of this crap you put in your body, and get some help for you emotions, we will be happy to talk. If you feel you need to go ahead, we can't and won't stop you, but we won't support it by paying for it.

We love you. You are welcome back in our home, however, if you are here you will have to abide by our standards. It is our home. You don't go into someone else's home and tell them how they can live, and you can't do that with us either.  We have standards that are important to our family and our way of life and we are not going to change those. Part of them are related to our belief that work is important, and that if you live in a house you help care for it. If you want to help around the house we would love to have you. We want the best for you, and although you think we don't understand we truly do. As your parents that love you, we refuse to help you down this road any further. We will give you food any time. We will not buy you gas, and we will not give you any money at all. If you ask the answer will be no. We will let you live here. We will pay for treatment, rehab or therapy. Otherwise... you say you want to be an adult, so be one, not just a teenager playing grown-up. Adults provide for themselves. We know this is hard, but you should really take a look at it and truly think about it, because this is true, and this is even said with love.

Love, Mom & Dad