Movin' Forward

So the past two months have gone by pretty quickly.  I do know that there have been some missteps along the way, either they are getting farther apart or I am better able to deal with them.  Most of them even seem normal teenager-ish.  I am happy for Lauren.  She seems in a better place.  She has made a lot of progress over the past little while.  She even stayed home with just her and her brother and managed to stay out of all trouble.  That made me happy.  I bet it made her happy too.  It is nice that I can rely on her for a bit.  She got her License yesterday and is now all legal to drive, she is excited about that.  I am too in a way.  He brother has been such a bore about taking anyone anywhere and she is really excited about it.  It makes it so nice.

She seems to have matured a bit as well.  Sometimes she is able to see the future and be a little scared by it.  Having turned 18 this past month  she realizes that things change drastically on paper for someone like her, though not in reality.  She feels the same and acts the same but the consequences of her choices and actions have changed a lot.  It scares her, which I think is a little good for her.  I think it is good for her to realize that there is responsibility that comes with freedoms.

She is still in a relationship with the boy that took her to prom.  He even came along to our family reunion in Utah this past June.  It was nice getting to know him better and getting to like him.  He is a pretty good kid.  I do have some worries, but Lauren assures me they are not really things to be worried about.  I know they both have had pretty tough lives and support each other, I just hope is doesn't become co-dependant, and abusive.  That can often happen.  He fits in well with the family, except on brother that is on a judgement kick.....so that doesn't count.

It is hard to be able to see people for who they are and recognize their progress when you are comparing them to some huge perfect standard.  I finally had to let go of that "normal" for Lauren, and take her on who she is and see the progress of where she is at.  It makes a huge difference in how I see her, in how she sees herself and how we get along.  I sure do love her.  It is hard to get to that point, and I mean hard, but so worth it.

There are still times I want to kick her butt, but for the most past I enjoy living with her and having her around.  She is a good person.  And she is learning more and more each day to control her emotions and not let her emotions control her.  That is a huge deal for Lauren, and she is doing it.  I am so proud of her.