Life Line

Lots has happened since I wrote last.  Lauren got so out of control that the state placed on a 72 hour hold and then transfered her to an acute psychiatric unit, which she stayed at WAY TOO LONG.  Then she made matters worse by Stealing our car, running away, and hurting me.  She was again placed on another 72 hour hold, and then transferred to a Residential Treatment Center in Utah called Lifeline.

I like the place.  She has been there before, and the staff really care and know her.  I am not sure she will get much out of it, but I am not sure she would get much out of any place.  And given that the places here wanted to be able to physically restrain her if necessary (pretty common with most of their clients) I am not sure I wanted her there.  She hasn't really been violent except for the past 6 months with Ian and I.    I am wondering if it is caused by the birth control we had put in her arm.  It is pretty much all progesterone, which can cause violence in some patients.

Anyway..... Lauren is lonely.  I know this, and I feel badly for it.  I wish she were here, but I also think this time away is good for both of us.  She needs to calm down, take some time to work on her issues, and she is safe for the moment.  She was not before.  And hopefully it will help her see that you don't have to be constantly with someone in order for them to continue to love you.  We still love her and miss her, and want her back.  Maybe it will help her realize she misses us too.  On our end it gives us some time to spend quality time with the boys and regroup and re think and recoup.  

I have done a lot of reading lately, and have been working through some of my own issues as well.  It is amazing to me that I was able to think that all of our issues were about her.  They are so totally not.  I realize that some of the ways I deal with things are just as harmful as her ways, at least mentally.

So we are all working.  If you can keep Lauren in your prayers.  And if you get a chance write to her and let her know you  are thinking about her.    For now, things are pretty calm.  I am really praying and hoping that this time helps.  One must never give up!

Samantha.