Lauren is home, but I am not seeing much change. I feel badly because I was so hoping this last episode in DT would really make her think. It did while she was there, but the moment she got out she was back to old behavior. I'm not sure what it will take. The moment she got out she started being rude to me because I didn't have her boyfriends number so she could him. Her cousin was with us, and she was really upset by it. She got home, left her cousin and headed to Morgan. Came home late. I keep asking her if she is ready to have the talk, she mentioned while in DT, but no. She refuses. I think she is afraid is she talks about it she will feel she has to do it, this way she doesn't. We got home here and she has been constantly with friends, taking offense at everything said. She and he dad are having some issues. He is tired of it all and just trying to protect the rest from her damage, and that causes him to be critical at times. She of course takes that hard and it really hurts her feelings. I wish I could negotiate a peace between them, but until Ian sees any changes he is tired of it all, and Lauren isn't changing. I am worried about her. Her reliance on friends and especially her boyfriend are very scary. If it should not work out, I don't know what she will do. I am scared she will try to commit suicide and maybe succeed. I wish the changes would come. I don't think she is very happy, and I really would want happiness for her.
She was given a huge fine to pay and let off pretty easy. I guess that is good and bad.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Should I really know the legal system this well?!
Yep, here we go again. Lauren hasn't done to well while we have been in Utah. While her dad and I were away she took total advantage of her grandma and just did whatever she wanted. I was so upset at her total disregard for her grandma's feelings. We got home and not a day later she takes her Uncles car without permission. And with no license. Of course it was reported and she was arrested. Now she is in detention. She hates it there, which is good, but she hasn't really had a change of heart, just hates it there. Her only options so far to change her life is death. Which really isn't a good option.
She did try to suffocate her self with a plastic bag while she was there, and got put in the holding room. That is a room with constant eye contact, no lights out and nothing but you and a pillow and your mattress. She didn't like that either.
Today was her detention hearing. They wouldn't release her to us, but they did give her a speedy trial date, this Wednesday so we can get that over with. However, Ian has been out of town for so long that he needed to get back to normal work so he took all the boys and headed home. I will stay till the come back in July. I will also go to court with Lauren. Her uncle dropped the charges, but that doesn't mean that the court will. The prosecutor gets to make that choice now. I have a meeting with him right before her court hearing.
It would be great if this caused Lauren to hit bottom, and realize that she has to make some substantial and lasting changes in her life. It would be great if this could do that, but so far that is not the case. She has however more than likely lost her job as I don't think they will hold it for her until the middle of July. What a mess.
I love Lauren. I want her to be happy. I wish she could see that even though daily therapy is a royal pain in the butt, it is easier than jail, or death, or unhappiness. But so far she hasn't caught on. Hopefully some day she will.
Samantha
She did try to suffocate her self with a plastic bag while she was there, and got put in the holding room. That is a room with constant eye contact, no lights out and nothing but you and a pillow and your mattress. She didn't like that either.
Today was her detention hearing. They wouldn't release her to us, but they did give her a speedy trial date, this Wednesday so we can get that over with. However, Ian has been out of town for so long that he needed to get back to normal work so he took all the boys and headed home. I will stay till the come back in July. I will also go to court with Lauren. Her uncle dropped the charges, but that doesn't mean that the court will. The prosecutor gets to make that choice now. I have a meeting with him right before her court hearing.
It would be great if this caused Lauren to hit bottom, and realize that she has to make some substantial and lasting changes in her life. It would be great if this could do that, but so far that is not the case. She has however more than likely lost her job as I don't think they will hold it for her until the middle of July. What a mess.
I love Lauren. I want her to be happy. I wish she could see that even though daily therapy is a royal pain in the butt, it is easier than jail, or death, or unhappiness. But so far she hasn't caught on. Hopefully some day she will.
Samantha
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Utah
We came home for a visit to family and friends for most of the month of June. Lauren is struggling. She has insisted on spending every free moment with friends doing something, or hanging out. She has to be involved in something constantly, no down time. I am sure she is smoking cigarettes. Don't know about drugs. She has been puking a lot, not eating, and had the runs, so I wonder if she is doing something unhealthy for her weight, bingeing as well. In spite of spending all her time with friends she is not happy. It is very apparent that she is unhappy. Yet in trying to get her to hang out with family, is pulling teeth and worse.
She wants nothing to do with any of us, and simply wants to go back to Colorado. Problem is, it won't be any better. She does have her job, but other than that, she has alienated most of her friends there as well. So what do you do when you have driven them all away, and there isn't much left. I would hope that you realize what you are doing and make a change. A real honest change, and not just a day or two to smooth things over and then go back to behavior that just doesn't work.
I wish I could do more than just pray for her and try to be there for her without supporting her negative behaviors. She is headed for a real pit and I can't stop it. I am not going to save her again this time. She has to learn on her own, and each time we have tried to save her brings a temporary change with no lasting results. It has to come from her and not from us. I do love her and want to see her happy and content in life, but I don't think that is going to come any time soon.
I believe that she can do it. I know she has the strength inside of her. Maybe not to completely overcome all of her problems. She will struggle with certain things her whole life. I struggle with depression a lot. However, it doesn't consume my life for the most part. I think if she really tried she would be like that. But I am not sure she will. It is hard to change. I know this. I struggle with stuff myself. But sometimes you have to change. Sometimes your options are just not good to stay where you are at. But only you can make that choice, not one else. And she is to that point where only she can decide where she is going to go in the future. We are here for her. She has therapy if she chooses. She has the church if she chooses. She has moral support, monetary support, love and prayers. But she has to choose it.
In one way I have gained a stronger understanding of certain things. I always wondered why God requires you to ask for most of the things you need. He doesn't just step in and try to help when things are going badly, even if you want him to. You have to ask. Two reasons. First you need to gain some wisdom and understanding from you experiences and secondly...... You have to truly want to be helped in order to make a change. If he just stepped in nothing would change. But by your asking for it, he knows that you truly do want and need his help, and he then can give it to you with you true and honest efforts. That is what is needed.
Anyway....... Ian and I are supposed to go away on a trip this coming week. I hope we will truly get to go. Not sure what will happen with Lauren. Given her actions of the past two days we may have to cancel it. I will have really hard feelings towards her if we do. We haven't been away for years because of all that has happened with Lauren. Please keep her in your prayers.
Samantha
She wants nothing to do with any of us, and simply wants to go back to Colorado. Problem is, it won't be any better. She does have her job, but other than that, she has alienated most of her friends there as well. So what do you do when you have driven them all away, and there isn't much left. I would hope that you realize what you are doing and make a change. A real honest change, and not just a day or two to smooth things over and then go back to behavior that just doesn't work.
I wish I could do more than just pray for her and try to be there for her without supporting her negative behaviors. She is headed for a real pit and I can't stop it. I am not going to save her again this time. She has to learn on her own, and each time we have tried to save her brings a temporary change with no lasting results. It has to come from her and not from us. I do love her and want to see her happy and content in life, but I don't think that is going to come any time soon.
I believe that she can do it. I know she has the strength inside of her. Maybe not to completely overcome all of her problems. She will struggle with certain things her whole life. I struggle with depression a lot. However, it doesn't consume my life for the most part. I think if she really tried she would be like that. But I am not sure she will. It is hard to change. I know this. I struggle with stuff myself. But sometimes you have to change. Sometimes your options are just not good to stay where you are at. But only you can make that choice, not one else. And she is to that point where only she can decide where she is going to go in the future. We are here for her. She has therapy if she chooses. She has the church if she chooses. She has moral support, monetary support, love and prayers. But she has to choose it.
In one way I have gained a stronger understanding of certain things. I always wondered why God requires you to ask for most of the things you need. He doesn't just step in and try to help when things are going badly, even if you want him to. You have to ask. Two reasons. First you need to gain some wisdom and understanding from you experiences and secondly...... You have to truly want to be helped in order to make a change. If he just stepped in nothing would change. But by your asking for it, he knows that you truly do want and need his help, and he then can give it to you with you true and honest efforts. That is what is needed.
Anyway....... Ian and I are supposed to go away on a trip this coming week. I hope we will truly get to go. Not sure what will happen with Lauren. Given her actions of the past two days we may have to cancel it. I will have really hard feelings towards her if we do. We haven't been away for years because of all that has happened with Lauren. Please keep her in your prayers.
Samantha
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)