Lauren decided that she was going to marry her boyfriend with or without our blessings, but if we didn't help her with it, she would have nothing to do with us. She is just stubborn enough that she would go through with it too. I think she needs us wether she wants to admit that or not, and I certainly don't want to lose her. So after a great deal of talking Ian and I came up with what we hope will make a difference to her. We decided we will help with the wedding, even though we think it is a bad idea at this time, if ....She and her boyfriend come out for Marriage planning ( not wedding planning) and also get married in Utah where the family is. The second is merely a connivence, but I know that none of the family can make it here, so if she wants them there, and as they will be her biggest supporters it would have to be there. Besides it is cheaper there. The other we decided may at least get them thinking along the lines of jobs, budget, goals, money, communications, children etc. Hopefully it will at least give them both some skills so that they don't enter this blind.
They came out a week ago and took a quiz on themselves and their partner. It was quite thorough. Based on their answers it prepared a report that tells them where they are doing good, and areas where they needs to work or change as they have danger signs. The whole thing is backed by statistics so I hope they go over it together and really take a look at it.
Lauren did decide to go home with us for Easter, which surprised me. She hasn't really wanted much to do with us at all. But I am glad. We got her car fixed and told her she has to pay us back for it. She got a job recently, as did her boyfriend, and we told her that her work check had to be deposited in our bank account and we would take her payment out and then give her the rest. That way we know we get paid, because she owes us a lot at this point.
She and her boyfriend are still at the homeless shelter for young adults, more of a homeless care shelter, but nevertheless. I still haven't figured out how it is much different from living with us, as they have almost the same rules we did. Oh well.
Lauren seems to be moving forward and I really hope she is. I hope she is happy and pulling her life together. I really want her to love her life and be successful.
