Lauren had a good Christmas. Well that isn't exactly true. I know she had some difficulties over the Holidays. She got a new boyfriend and then he broke up with her. I know she also felt uncomfortable with some of the family, and she and her cousins don't seem to get along much anymore. But in spite of it all she held it together and let us have a great Holiday. It was the first in a long time that we have had a wonderful holiday all together.
After Christmas she also really pulled it together and made a bunch of goals for the new year. I told her only a few would be better, but she insisted, so it was her idea. For the first few days she did really good with her goals too. Then she sabotaged herself and it all fell apart again. She is so torn inside. She battles herself. I think she feels so scared of changing that she sabotages.
She has a broken soul. She wants to live a good life, but she has addictions, and she sabotages and then she has such anger and she hates God and what is happening to her. Again until she gets fed up with where her choices take her nothing will change. Again I am hoping that she hits bottom soon. I want her to be so happy. I want to see her shine, and achieve all she wants. I hurt for her, and for me. I love her. I hope and pray everyday for her and for her healing. Please keep her in your prayers!!
