It's been a bit since I posted. Lauren has been in Utah in a treatment center for her BPD. They don't actually deal with BPD or treat it, but they do other stuff that seems to center her and help her to think straight. In a lot of ways it is excellent for her, and in others it isn't. They don't seem to understand her on some of her issues. In face sometimes they confront her on things in a way that really shows they don't get it. But all in all it has been good for her. And the people there really care about her.
We got to spend Easter with her and family when we were home. It went really well and she handled some problems very well. It was a nice time to be home with family, and it was especially good to spend it with her.
Right now she is home. She came home yesterday. It is supposed to be for a week visit to see how we work things out and how she does, but if it goes well she will just stay here. Not perfect just well. Meaning she is really trying and not returning to old behaviors. The insurance has pretty much said they think she is done and don't want to pay anymore and when she came home they essentially looked at it as thought she was discharged. I'm okay with that. I have missed her. And I do want he here.
Yesterday she did pretty good, there were some issues where I think she put friends before family, but that isn't so unusual for a girl her age and especially with her disorder, and the girls she was with really are good girls.
My biggest concern for her is that she still hasn't given up on this boy from before. I don't think he is a bad kid, but I don't think he is good for her. He has too many similar issues and too many past problems. He really cares for her and I am sure she cares for him too, but together they really can't support each other in healthy ways. She isn't ready to see that for now, and at least she knows that for now there will be no contact. He is in a treatment center for I don't know what right now. She contacted him yesterday. That was a concern to me. I think my other concern is her being able to deal with closing back doors. In other words not hanging out with and letting them no, she is not going to, friends that are not good for her. Last night she did close a back door. It was very difficult for her and the girl took it very badly which really hurt Lauren, but I think she realizes that she really can't help the girl because she isn't strong enough right now, and the girl isn't healthy. It was sad, but she did a good job of it I think. I am sure it was hard for her.
I struggled last night about how I should handle some things and came to the conclusion that it wasn't my job to tell her how to handle things. It was my job to support her good decisions. I think that turned out well. I need to be more trustful and supportive of her and not try to micro manage her life which I have done in the past. I hope we can both work on this and that things go well. Anyway..... I am glad she is home. I have missed her and love her.
